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Jak być dobrym rodzicem - postaw na mocne strony!

To już trzecia część cyklu, poprzednią jego część pod tytułem Jak być dobrym rodzicem - posiadaj cel! znajdziesz własnie pod tym linkiem. Typowe podejście, które większość z nas wyniosła jako skutek wychowania z domu lub ze szkoły jest takie, że rodzice i nauczyciele na ogół mówili nam co robimy źle, co im się nie podoba i w czym musimy się poprawić. Dużo rzadziej chwalili nas za zrobienie czegoś dobrze i równie rzadko mówili, co im się podoba, za co nas cenią albo z czego są dumni.

Również w szkole na wywiadówce nauczyciel głównie skupiał się na tym, w czym trzeba się podciągnąć i  kładł nacisk na przedmioty, z których mieliśmy słabe wyniki. Teraz już nie jesteś w szkole, ani rodzice nie stoją Ci nad głową, a jednak nadal wciąż myślisz o tym, co jest Twoją słabością. Czas to zmienić. Dlaczego? Bo to Ci się zwyczajnie bardziej opłaca! 

Jak to zrobić?

Będziesz lepszym rodzicem, jeśli poćwiczysz coś, w czym i tak już jesteś dobry. Na dodatek nauka sprawi Ci większą przyjemność. Dlatego zanim zaczniesz podciągać braki, skoncentruj się na tym, żeby pogłębić i powiększyć w sobie to coś, co robisz dobrze!

Twoim celem nie jest być we wszystkim jako takim rodzicem. Twoim celem jest stać się świetnym rodzicem. Powiedz mi, że tego nie pragniesz? :) Takie poczucie zapewni Ci tylko świadomość, że jesteś świetny w tym co robisz. A naprawdę dobrym można być tylko w tym, co się lubi robić i co przychodzi z łatwością!

Wtedy nie tylko masz frajdę, ale też jesteś szczęśliwszą mamą, szczęśliwszym tatą. Kiedy robisz z dzieckiem coś, co sprawia Ci niekłamaną przyjemność, kiedy z nim w ten sposób spędzasz czas, kiedy o tym z nim rozmawiasz, albo o tym opowiadasz... Dziecko będzie Cię za to uwielbiać! Co dalej? 

Praktyczne wskazówki

Na ten czas, kiedy chcesz się skupić na mocnych stronach, poproś współmałżonka, partnera, opiekunkę, aby zajęli się tym, co szczególnie sprawia Ci trudności. Zwłaszcza, jeśli jej, czy jemu wychodzi to lepiej. Wytłumacz dlaczego o to prosisz.

Naprawdę nie ma sensu zmuszać się do robienia z dzieckiem rzeczy, których nie znosisz, bo dziecko to i tak wyczuje i wcale nie będzie zachwycone Twoim brakiem entuzjazmu. Przykład? Wielu ojców np. wybiera się z przymusu na przedstawienie w przedszkolu, a potem chrapią, przynosząc wstyd dziecku i sprawiając mu ogromny zawód. Dziecko czuje się całkowicie zlekceważone i np. córeczka długo będzie pamiętała to, że tata jej wcale nie oglądał, bo zasnął(!) i na dodatek ją skompromitował. ;)

Czy warto ryzykować? Narażać na szwank naszą relację z dzieckiem i jego uczucia? Zepsuć to, co dobre jest tak łatwo, a potem tak trudno to naprawić. Jeśli jednak nie masz takiej możliwości, to jeszcze nic straconego. Ponieważ... można zmienić swoje nastawienie i coś czego nie lubisz, naprawdę można polubić. Zwłaszcza, jeśli Ci na tym zależy. Przyznaję, że nie dotyczy to absolutnie wszystkich rzeczy, ale kilka na pewno się znajdzie. 

A więc w tym roku rozwijaj swoje mocne strony rodzicielstwa, a to w czym jesteś słaba - postaraj się oddelegować, albo polubić. Potrzebujesz pomocy w znalezieniu swoich mocnych stron? Chcesz popracować nad poczuciem własnej wartości? Klik: Zróbmy to razem.

Jeśli spodobał wam się ten artykuł, możecie mnie wesprzeć, aby mogło powstać więcej takich treści klikając tutaj: buycoffee.to/wychowacdziecko.pl albo zostawcie wypasiony komentarz :)

Barbara Dziobek

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