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Jaki jest Twój zakres akceptacji?

Co sprawia, że jako rodzice mamy różne zakresy akceptacji? Na czym polegają główne różnice? Jakim jesteś rodzicem i czy zastanawiasz się skąd się bierze Twój zakres akceptacji? Dlaczego w zależności od dziecka zmienia się Twoja akceptacja? I czy można z tym coś zrobić?

Trudno jest być przez cały czas akceptującym rodzicem dla dziecka, ponieważ jego zachowanie czasem wymaga skorygowania. Jednak czy zauważasz, że niektórzy ludzie mają tak, że nie podoba im się większość rzeczy, które robią ich dzieci? Czasem ich dzieci robią coś, co Tobie absolutnie nie przeszkadza i masz wrażenie, że właściwie nikomu by to nie przeszkadzało, a jednak ich matka lub ojciec stale zwraca im uwagę. 

Różne zakresy akceptacji

Ty sama możesz należeć do tej grupy rodziców, pytanie tylko, czy sobie to uświadamiasz. Są trzy grupy rodziców w zależności od zakresu akceptacji, jakim darzą swoje dzieci.

Mały zakres akceptacji

Jeśli należysz do wyżej opisanej grupy, to jesteś osobą o małym zakresie akceptacji. Częściej niż innym nie podoba Ci się nie tylko zachowanie twoich dzieci, ale również bliskich i obcych dorosłych. Czy łapiesz się na tym, że w myślach ich oceniasz i osadzasz ich zachowanie? Jesteś też zazwyczaj również dla siebie bardziej surowa i krytycznie nastawiona do tego, co robisz i jak robisz to, co robisz.

Średni zakres akceptacji

A może jesteś osobą o przeciętnym lub dużym zakresie akceptacji dla obcych, ale bardziej krytyczną w stosunku do swoich dzieci. Jak myślisz skąd się to bierze? Naprawdę warto się nad tym zastanowić.
Duży zakres akceptacji

Jest też trzecia grupa rodziców, którzy akceptują bardzo wiele z zachowania dziecka i w ogóle samo dziecko. Jeśli jesteś tego typu rodzicem, to masz duży zakres akceptacji i w ogóle jesteś bardziej akceptującą osobą wobec otoczenia i innych ludzi.

Zalety i wady różnych zakresów akceptacji

Każdy z tych typów niesie ze sobą pewne szanse i zagrożenia dla rozwoju dziecka. Jest bardzo interesujące, że jeśli masz więcej niż jedno dziecko, to może czasem zauważasz, że dla poszczególnych dzieci zakres twojej akceptacji jest trochę inny. Jeśli już to zauważyłaś, to gratuluję! Większość rodziców nie przyznaje się do tego, powiedziałabym nawet, że jest to swego rodzaju temat tabu.

Niestety tego, co nieświadome nie można zmienić, więc też nie możesz nad tym pracować. Zawsze znajdziesz wówczas uzasadnienie dla swojego zachowania. To się nazywa racjonalizacja.

Jeśli jednak zauważasz to u siebie czasem, możesz mieć poczucie winy i trudno Ci to zrozumieć. To jednak jest normalne. Dzieci są różne, tak jak różni są ludzie i zachowują się w sposób łatwy lub trudny dla Ciebie do zaakceptowania. Wynika to z jednej strony z temperamentu dziecka, a z drugiej strony z twoich preferencji.

To samo zachowanie może być w zależności od okoliczności akceptowalne lub nie! Poruszę ten temat jeszcze w serii artykułów na temat konsekwencji. A tymczasem więcej o tym, co wpływa na Twój zakres akceptacji w następnym artykule.

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