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Jaki jest Twój zakres akceptacji?


Co sprawia, że jako rodzice mamy różne zakresy akceptacji? Na czym polegają główne różnice w sposobie akceptowania dzieci? Sprawdźcie jakim typem rodzica jesteście i skąd się bierze wasz zakres akceptacji dla dziecka. Dlaczego w zależności od dziecka zmienia się nasza akceptacja? I czy można z tym coś zrobić?

Trudno jest być przez cały czas akceptującym rodzicem, ponieważ zachowanie dziecka czasem wymaga skorygowania. Czy zauważyliście, że niektórzy ludzie mają tak, że nie podoba im się większość rzeczy, które robią ich dzieci? Czasem ich dzieci robią coś, co wam absolutnie nie przeszkadza i macie wrażenie, że właściwie nikomu by to nie przeszkadzało, a jednak ich matka lub ojciec stale zwraca im uwagę. 

ZAKRESY AKCEPTACJI RODZICÓW

Wy sami możecie należeć do tej grupy rodziców, pytanie tylko, czy sobie to uświadamiacie! :) Ale wszystko od początku. Ogólnie rzecz biorąc są trzy grupy rodziców w zależności od zakresu akceptacji, jakim darzą swoje dzieci.

Mały zakres akceptacji
Jeśli należycie do tej grupy, to jesteście osobami o małym zakresie akceptacji. Częściej niż innym nie podoba wam się nie tylko zachowanie waszych dzieci, ale również bliskich i obcych dorosłych. Czy łapiecie się na tym, że w myślach ich oceniacie i osądzacie ich zachowanie? Jesteście też zazwyczaj również dla siebie bardziej surowi i krytycznie nastawieni do tego, co robicie - i jak robicie to, co robicie.

Średni zakres akceptacji
A może jesteście osobami o różnym zakresie akceptacji zależnie od ludzi i sytuacji? Wówczas możecie mieć (to tylko przykład) przeciętny lub duży zakres akceptacji dla obcych, ale być bardziej krytyczni w stosunku do swoich partnerów i dzieci. Jak myślicie skąd to się u was bierze? Naprawdę warto się nad tym zastanowić! :)

Duży zakres akceptacji
Jest też trzecia grupa rodziców, którzy akceptują bardzo wiele z zachowania dziecka i w ogóle samo dziecko. Jeśli jesteście tego typu rodzicami, to macie duży zakres akceptacji i w ogóle jesteście zazwyczaj bardziej akceptującymi osobami wobec otoczenia i innych ludzi. Wtedy też zwykle akceptujecie i lubicie siebie.

RÓŻNICE W AKCEPTOWANIU DZIECI

Każdy z tych typów niesie ze sobą pewne szanse i zagrożenia dla rozwoju dziecka. Jest bardzo interesujące, że jeśli macie więcej niż jedno dziecko, to może czasem zauważacie, że dla poszczególnych dzieci zakres waszej akceptacji jest trochę inny. Jeśli już to zauważyliście, to gratuluję! Większość rodziców nie przyznaje się do tego, powiedziałabym nawet, że jest to swego rodzaju temat tabu.

Niestety tego, co nieświadome nie można zmienić, więc też nie można nad tym pracować. Zawsze znajdziecie wówczas uzasadnienie dla swoich poglądów czy zachowań, aby ich nie zmieniać. To się nazywa racjonalizacja. Jeśli jednak zauważacie to u siebie czasem, trudno wam to zrozumieć i możecie mieć poczucie winy. 

Jednak odczuwanie innego rodzaju akceptacji dla każdego dziecka jest normalne. Dzieci są różne, tak jak różni są ludzie i zachowują się w baaardzo różny sposób. Przyjemny lub nieprzyjemny i łatwy lub trudny dla nas do zaakceptowania. Wynika to z jednej strony z temperamentu dziecka, a z drugiej strony z naszych preferencji.

Nawet to samo zachowanie może być u tego samego dziecka - w zależności od okoliczności - akceptowalne lub nie! Poruszę ten temat jeszcze w serii artykułów na temat konsekwencji. A tymczasem więcej o tym, co wpływa na Twój zakres akceptacji pojawi się w następnym artykule.

Jeśli podoba Ci się ten artykuł, to możesz wesprzeć działalność WychowacDziecko.pl poprzez kupienie wirtualnej kawy tutaj: buycoffee.to/wychowacdziecko.pl albo zostawienie komentarza poniżej :)

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