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Skąd się bierze złość?













Czy wiesz, że posługujemy się złością, żeby ukarać drugą osobę?
Wydaje Ci się, że to jest od Ciebie niezależne, że dzieje się samo, ale tak naprawdę… Złość jest naszą bronią. Bronią, po którą sięgamy mniej lub bardziej świadomie. Zawsze na skutek wcześniejszego uczucia, którego najczęściej, w ogóle nie jesteśmy świadomi. Jeśli… się nad tym nie zastanowimy! Nie wiesz, o co chodzi? Przeczytaj najpierw poprzedni artykuł.

Tak się składa, że możemy korzystać i korzystamy ze złości na różne sposoby.

SPOSÓB PIERWSZY

Jeśli się nad tym nie zastanawiasz, to masz wrażenie, że złość przychodzi automatycznie... Tak naprawdę wcale nie jest automatyczna. Tak ją odbierasz, gdy brakuje Ci… refleksji. To jest ten przypadek, kiedy często złość wymyka Ci się spod kontroli. Wówczas złościsz się najczęściej na tego, kto Ci się pod rękę nawinie.

Innymi słowy: na niewłaściwą osobę, w niewłaściwym stopniu i niewłaściwym momencie, w niewłaściwym celu i w niewłaściwy sposób.

Najlepiej ilustruje to przykład...

...kiedy zmęczony i podminowany ojciec rodziny wraca z pracy. Jest rozdrażniony, bo coś poszło nie tak. Może miał utarczkę z przełożonym… W każdym razie jest bardzo zdenerwowany. Żona o tym nie wie i od progu przypomina mu o przysłowiowym gwoździu niewbitym w ścianę… I awantura gotowa.

Spada na nią cała lawina złości, frustracji, rozgoryczenia, z tym, że to ona jest wszystkiemu winna. Zaskoczona i zła wycofuje się do kuchni, bo nie ma ochoty na dalszą pyskówkę, ale poczucie niesprawiedliwości i gniew buzuje pod powierzchnią.

Wtedy do kuchni wchodzi dziecko i zaczyna marudzić, kiedy wreszcie dostanie swoją upragnioną… Kiedy podnosi wzrok na mamę, widzi w jej oczach taką wściekłość, jakiej dawno nie zdarzyło mu się oglądać. Matka wybucha: Wyjdź! W tej chwili wyjdź z kuchni! Co ty sobie myślisz?! Itd. To tylko jedna z opcji. Dziecko wybucha płaczem i biegnie do swojego pokoju.

Po drodze natyka się na psa, o którego o mało się nie potknęło. Głupi pies! – Krzyczy i kopie psa… Znasz takie historie? To słynny łańcuch złości. Jak go przerwać? Co można zrobić? 

KONKURS 20 LUTY - 27 LUTY: Napisz swoją wersję - czekam na Twój komentarz. :)
Możesz odpowiedź zamieścić w komentarzu lub wysłać na adres: rozwojrodzicow@gmail.com.

NAGRODA: to 60 minutowa konsultacja na telefon lub Skype. Nagrodę otrzyma pierwsza prawidłowa odpowiedź. Ogłoszenie wyników 1 marca. Termin sesji do ustalenia indywidualnie.

KOLEJNE SPOSOBY w jakie korzystamy ze złości - ukażą się w kolejnych artykułach!


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